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the exams, and don't give us a look-in; I call it sheer piffle. Then the Guv'nor set me on electrical engineering—electrical engineering's played out. I put no stock in it; besides, it's such beastly fag; and then, you get your hands dirty. So now I'm reading for the Bar; and if only my coach can put me up to tips enough to dodge the examiners, I expect to be called some time next summer.'

'And when you have failed for everything?' I inquired, just to test his sense of humour.

He swallowed it like a roach. 'Oh, when I've failed for everything, I shall stick up to the Guv'nor. Hang it all, a gentleman can't be expected to earn his own livelihood. England's going to the dogs, that's where it is; no snug little sinecures left for chaps like you and me; all this beastly competition. And no respect for the feelings of gentlemen, either! Why, would you believe it, Cumberground—we used to call you Cumberground at Charterhouse, I remember, or was it Fig Tree?—I happened to get a bit lively in the Haymarket last week, after a rattling good supper, and the chap at the police court—old cove with a squint—positively proposed to send me to prison, without the option of a fine!—I'll trouble you for that—send me to prison just—for knocking down a common brute of a bobby. There's no mistake about it; England's not a country now for a gentleman to live in.'

'Then why not mark your sense of the fact by leaving it?' I inquired, with a smile.

He shook his head. 'What? Emigrate? No, thank you! I'm not taking any. None of your colonies for me, if you please. I shall stick to the old ship. I'm too much attached to the Empire.'

'And yet imperialists,' I said, 'generally gush over the colonies— the Empire on which the sun never sets.'