Page:Fugitive Poetry 1600-1878.djvu/543
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
THE ONE-LEGGED GOOSE.
525
(As should each penitential sinner),
Took, during sermon-time, his usual snore,
And gave his sixpence at the door,
And then walked comfortably home to dinner.
Took, during sermon-time, his usual snore,
And gave his sixpence at the door,
And then walked comfortably home to dinner.
As there are many, I daresay,
Who into such affairs have never looked,
I think I'd better mention, by the way,
That dinners ere they're eaten, should be cooked!
At least our squire's were so before he took them.
Now, as I shall have work enough
For this most gracious queen of kitchenstuff,
It may not be amiss to tell you that
(Of lusty beauty quite a masterpiece)
This modern maid of Fat
Surpassed the famous dames of Greece.
Of course, then, she had lovers plenty—
Ay, that she had, sir, nearly twenty!
But none she did so doat upon
As our squire's lusty gardener, John.
It chanced one year, as almanacs can tell,
St. Michael's Day on Sunday fell;
The squire, the night before, as was his use,
Gave Peggy orders to procure a goose;
Then went to church next morning cheerfully
And ordered dinner to be done by three.
'Twas half-past-two—the cloth was laid, -
Peggy the apple-sauce had made,
The bird was done, and she for master wishing;
When, lo! attracted by the luscious gale,
And somewhat elevated with strong ale,
John popped into the kitchen.
"What, cookie, got a goose! well, come, that's nice,
Faith, cookie, I should like to have a slice;
And apple-sauce, too! there's a darling Peg,
Do take a knife and cut me off a leg."
"Cut off a leg? that would be pretty fun;
What! serve it up to squire with only one?"
"Aye, to be sure; why, master durstn't kill you;
I'll cut it off." "Adone! adone, now! will you?"
Who into such affairs have never looked,
I think I'd better mention, by the way,
That dinners ere they're eaten, should be cooked!
At least our squire's were so before he took them.
Now, as I shall have work enough
For this most gracious queen of kitchenstuff,
It may not be amiss to tell you that
(Of lusty beauty quite a masterpiece)
This modern maid of Fat
Surpassed the famous dames of Greece.
Of course, then, she had lovers plenty—
Ay, that she had, sir, nearly twenty!
But none she did so doat upon
As our squire's lusty gardener, John.
It chanced one year, as almanacs can tell,
St. Michael's Day on Sunday fell;
The squire, the night before, as was his use,
Gave Peggy orders to procure a goose;
Then went to church next morning cheerfully
And ordered dinner to be done by three.
'Twas half-past-two—the cloth was laid, -
Peggy the apple-sauce had made,
The bird was done, and she for master wishing;
When, lo! attracted by the luscious gale,
And somewhat elevated with strong ale,
John popped into the kitchen.
"What, cookie, got a goose! well, come, that's nice,
Faith, cookie, I should like to have a slice;
And apple-sauce, too! there's a darling Peg,
Do take a knife and cut me off a leg."
"Cut off a leg? that would be pretty fun;
What! serve it up to squire with only one?"
"Aye, to be sure; why, master durstn't kill you;
I'll cut it off." "Adone! adone, now! will you?"
What arguments he used I cannot say;
But love—whose sceptre's all-commanding sway
Cookmaids, as well as countesses, obey—
Ordained it so, that, spite of all her reasoning,
John stole the leg, with lots of sauce and seasoning.
But love—whose sceptre's all-commanding sway
Cookmaids, as well as countesses, obey—
Ordained it so, that, spite of all her reasoning,
John stole the leg, with lots of sauce and seasoning.