Page:Fugitive Poetry 1600-1878.djvu/540
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CONTRADICTION.
Exclaims the officer—"Did you suppose
I was a horse, that you sent such a dose?
I've four-and-twenty bullets lying
In my stomach, and I'm dying."
"Bullets!" repeats the doctor with surprise,
"Sir, I'm a man of peace, and either pill
I sent, was meant to cure—not kill.
Besides, I sent hut two," he straight replies.—
"I've swallowed twenty-four!" the sick man cries.
I was a horse, that you sent such a dose?
I've four-and-twenty bullets lying
In my stomach, and I'm dying."
"Bullets!" repeats the doctor with surprise,
"Sir, I'm a man of peace, and either pill
I sent, was meant to cure—not kill.
Besides, I sent hut two," he straight replies.—
"I've swallowed twenty-four!" the sick man cries.
A squinting servant of the house stood by,
And towards the shelf she cast an eye;
She opened the doctor's box, and there
The pills both snug and safe appear.
Another box upon the shelf remained
Empty. "Why, nurse!" she squalls,
And at the doctor like a fury bawls,
"This box, now empty, once contained
What the poor gentleman has taken;
Were he an ostrich, or the prince of gluttons,
You'd scarcely save his bacon,
For, by heaven!
You have given
Him two dozen round shirt buttons!'
And towards the shelf she cast an eye;
She opened the doctor's box, and there
The pills both snug and safe appear.
Another box upon the shelf remained
Empty. "Why, nurse!" she squalls,
And at the doctor like a fury bawls,
"This box, now empty, once contained
What the poor gentleman has taken;
Were he an ostrich, or the prince of gluttons,
You'd scarcely save his bacon,
For, by heaven!
You have given
Him two dozen round shirt buttons!'
Contradiction.
In Anster, long since, in the shire of Fife,
There lived a man who wanted a wife;
A fisher was he, most stout and bold,
With a temper much, more hot than cold;
And he often said that whoe'er married him
Should be somewhat like his wherry trim,
Obedient in all things to the lawful force
With which he as steersman should guide her course,
And that with her- tongue she should not afflict him,
Nor yet for her life once contradict him,
But whatever he might do or say,
She should look on it as law, and let it have way.
In time, as things will come to pass,
This fisher heard of a Dysart lass,
Who was most modest, mild, and meek,
With lips that looked as they scarce could speak;
In short the very thing he wanted;
So love was soon asked, and soon was granted.
There lived a man who wanted a wife;
A fisher was he, most stout and bold,
With a temper much, more hot than cold;
And he often said that whoe'er married him
Should be somewhat like his wherry trim,
Obedient in all things to the lawful force
With which he as steersman should guide her course,
And that with her- tongue she should not afflict him,
Nor yet for her life once contradict him,
But whatever he might do or say,
She should look on it as law, and let it have way.
In time, as things will come to pass,
This fisher heard of a Dysart lass,
Who was most modest, mild, and meek,
With lips that looked as they scarce could speak;
In short the very thing he wanted;
So love was soon asked, and soon was granted.