Page:Fugitive Poetry 1600-1878.djvu/473
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THE OLD BACHELOR.
455
When the poor stupid husband is weary and starving,
Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
While they study the line of the os humeri.
Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
While they study the line of the os humeri.
If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap,
We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
For the women are wrapped in the deep-coal formation.
We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
For the women are wrapped in the deep-coal formation.
'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen
Should use pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen;
Let the heir break his head while they foster a dahlia,
And the babe die of pap while they talk of mammalia.
Should use pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen;
Let the heir break his head while they foster a dahlia,
And the babe die of pap while they talk of mammalia.
The first son becomes half a fool in reality,
While the mother is watching his large ideality;
And the girl roars unchecked, quite a moral abortion,
For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
While the mother is watching his large ideality;
And the girl roars unchecked, quite a moral abortion,
For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning,
Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a-sinning;
The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,
So here's to plain English!—a plague on their 'ologies!
Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a-sinning;
The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,
So here's to plain English!—a plague on their 'ologies!
The Old Bachelor.
When I was a schoolboy, aged ten,
Oh! mighty little Greek I knew;
With my short striped trousers, and, now and then,
With stripes upon my jacket too.
When I saw other boys to the playground run,
I threw my old gradus by;
And I left the task I had scarce begun—
"There'll be time enough for that," said I.
Oh! mighty little Greek I knew;
With my short striped trousers, and, now and then,
With stripes upon my jacket too.
When I saw other boys to the playground run,
I threw my old gradus by;
And I left the task I had scarce begun—
"There'll be time enough for that," said I.
When I was at college, my pride was dress,
And my groom, and my bit of blood,
But as for my study, I must confess,
That I was content with my stud.
I was deep in my tradesmen's books, I'm afraid,
Though not in my own, by-the-by;
When clamorous creditors came to be paid,
"There'll be time enough for that," said I.
And my groom, and my bit of blood,
But as for my study, I must confess,
That I was content with my stud.
I was deep in my tradesmen's books, I'm afraid,
Though not in my own, by-the-by;
When clamorous creditors came to be paid,
"There'll be time enough for that," said I.