Page:Fugitive Poetry 1600-1878.djvu/461

This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.

PARAMOUNT PUNNING.

443

"No, not so well," said he;
"For, when the sheep I got,
They every one died of the rot."
"That was bad," said I;
"No, not so bad," said he;
"For I had thought to scrape the fat
And keep it in an oaken vat;
Then into tallow melt for winter store."
"Well, then," said I, "that's better than before?"
"'Twas not so well, said he;
"For having got a clumsy fellow
To scrape the fat and melt the tallow;
Into the melting fat the fire catches,
And, like brimstone matches,
Burnt my house to ashes."
"That was bad," said I;
"No! not so bad," said he; "for, what is best,
My scolding wife has gone among the rest."

Paramount Punning; on Setting Up and Sitting down.

A chap once told St. Patrick's Dean,
While rising from his seat, "I mean
To set up for a wit."
"Ah," quoth the Dean, "if that be true,
The very best thing you can do
Is down again to sit."

Too many, like that would-be wit,
Set up for what they are not fit,
And always lose their aim;—
Set up for wisdom, wealth, renown,
But end the farce by sitting down,
In poverty and shame.

A middling farmer thinks he can
Set up to be a gentleman,
And then sit down content;
But after many a turn and twist,
Is set down on the pauper list,
A fool, not worth a cent!